Dimitri The Lover Wants You To Worship His Cock (and Other Laughable Bullshit)
Posted by: sofi in Boys, Terrifying shit
If you haven’t already heard about Dimitri the Lover, a brief summary is that he is a self-made Lothario who insists that he is God’s gift to women. Out of the goodness of his own heart (and for only a thousand dollars), he’ll teach any regular Joe how to unlock the mysterious ways of the woman and be a “real man”.
To illustrate what Dimitri has to offer, his website includes some amusing flash cartoons that I enjoyed this afternoon (NSFW).
Things we have learned:
1) Virgins do not have inner labia (until manlove occurs)
2) Physical abuse makes hot slutty girls love you and makes them want to make out with other hot slutty girls
3) Anyone unwilling to sleep with Dimitri is a fat dyke
4) Sometimes God gives divine handjobs (but only to Dimitri)
5) RAPE OK!
6) Dimitri is All and All is Dimitri
Shame there’s only one of him and so many of us. Am I right, ladies?
August 4th, 2008 at 9:26 pm - Edit
Apparently, he holds his meetings of Toronto Real Men just at the end of my street, a mere two blocks away. I’m tempted to swing by and learn the “certain psychologically powerful, field-tested and perfected words and phrases” that will cause “1 in 5 targeted sluts [to] provide you with unhindered tri-orifice access within 24 hours of being approached.”
August 4th, 2008 at 9:53 pm - Edit
Do it do it do it (in the name of journalism)!
August 4th, 2008 at 10:07 pm - Edit
I couldn’t justify putting the price of admission in his pocket, though ($29+GST if you pre-register online; $40 at the door). Besides, BlogTO already infiltrated a meeting.
August 5th, 2008 at 9:30 pm - Edit
i would personally love to see our girl chrissy take on this douchenozzle.
can we say “removal of testicles”?
August 5th, 2008 at 9:40 pm - Edit
SERIOUSLY!
“Removal of testicles”…if she’s feeling kind and charitable.
Where are you, Chrissy? Weigh in!
August 5th, 2008 at 9:41 pm - Edit
….ohmyfuckinggod i just followed all those links AND THAT DUDE TOTALLY USED TO HIT ON ME ALL THE TIME. he was a customer at my loblaws that would try to pick up all the female cashiers — we nicknamed him “Dr. Love” and he totally skeeved me the fuck out. he was just…cheesy. laid it on thick enough to make me want to run the other way, NOT into his creepy arms.
ickkkkk.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:51 pm - Edit
He actually WAS a doctor, until he had his license stripped for sexually assaulting his female patients.
August 8th, 2008 at 2:47 pm - Edit
I got really interested and did some digging. Here is the announcement for Dimitri The Lover’s next “Toronto Real Men†meeting. Now Peter MUST attend !!!
http://groups.google.ca/group/alt.seduction.fast/browse_thread/thread/5088801d804a9a75?hl=en#
August 9th, 2008 at 6:36 pm - Edit
It looks like the Borat people are involved in the film about Dimitri The Lover:
http://noataylor.blogspot.com/2008/08/dimitri-lover.html
August 11th, 2008 at 4:18 pm - Edit
oh god, i just found something to fill the rest of my day with! haha fuck. i’m going on a business trip in two days and have so much shit to get done.
thanks for nothin, sof!
April 8th, 2009 at 5:19 pm - Edit
Okay, this guy is the most disgusting dickhead that I have ever heard of. Guys, females do not like physical abuse, rape is illegal, and “Demitri” is a disgusting creep who thinks the world of himself, If you think that it is okay to be like him then you can go move to some third world country where you might be wanted, but sat away other than that the women that approach him only do it cuz they’re overly desperate. He’s a greasy slimeball and he should go to hell for teaching others his chauvinist ways. btw, I’m fourteen and I know that the shit he thinks is wrong!!!!!! If that doesn’t make ppl see, what does?
May 28th, 2009 at 3:02 am - Edit
You people above are some brainwashed little cunts I’ll tell you that. All you know is laws, and whores who get insulted who love to scream ’sexual abuse’ lighten the fuck up this society is flawed to the max. Many things he says are true but you like to not face the music and live in a limited society within your limited view points…keep staying boxed in…..the things he speaks of are of the natural ways of nature not made up bullshit that society has molded us into and religion supressed…just look at animals around you and how they react….at our core we are just like that.
May 28th, 2009 at 8:54 am - Edit
You should tell her that on your first date. “WE ARE ANIMALS AND YOU WANT TO FUCK ME AND IF YOU DON’T WANT TO FUCK ME I WILL DRAG YOU BY THE HAIR INTO MY CAVE!” Cavemen didn’t wear hair product or grody cologne either, maybe we SHOULD go back to those times!
Good luck on your sex adventures, Prince Charming.
May 28th, 2009 at 10:38 am - Edit
To “A.K”:
As a “brainwashed little cunt”, I would like to say that if you have to take classes to learn how to pick women up, then you should just stay home. It’s not that hard, really, to talk to a woman. It’s all about respect - treat us like your equal, talk to us like adults and we’ll get along just fine. Oh, and don’t carelessly toss about words like “cunts” and “whores” to describe women. That, and your lousy grammar and spelling, show a lack of class and that is not attractive.
I find it both humourous and pathetic that some men who have no luck with women refuse to look inside of themselves for the problem; instead, they make huge generalizations about women and put the blame on “whores”.
We are not animals. We are human beings. To whittle down human behaviour to basic animal instincts is to overlook our achievements in human society. But I guess you’d rather harken back to the “good old days” when women weren’t allowed to vote. Do us all a favour - stop watching “Mad Men” and leave us alone.
One more thing: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you truly feel this way, at least identify yourself and stand behind your opinion. Don’t be a coward.
June 4th, 2009 at 7:27 pm - Edit
Chances are A.K is “The Lover” himself.
What is most sad is most of the people taking his courses are insecure men who are too nervous to approach women. Any honourable self-respecting man wouldn’t be seen there, and if he ended up their by mistake I am sure he would get up and leave. There is no way any confident, intelligent and ethical man would sit through that unless he is researching criminal or emotionally imbalanced behaviour.
He keeps referring to women that do not want him must have been abused in childhood, but often we speak the truths about ourselves through others, especially if it is something we have internalized. Many abusers become abusers. Some of the men who take his courses could have been abused, hence their lack of confidence.
btw-I met up with this creep today. He used the same line on me as he posted as his pick up line on his website. I must admit I have been fooled many times by intelligent, charming, attractive players. This creep didn’t even come close in comparison. He is an ugly, conceited, slimy, gross creep. I saw no signs of intelligence whatsoever.
August 13th, 2009 at 11:20 am - Edit
If you want to see some GRADE A DOUCHEBAG from Dimitri The Lover, check out this douchey flyer he hands to single women that reject his advances:
http://pics.livejournal.com/suspiciouslump/pic/00001pse
Also, here is a link to all of Dimitri The Lover’s NSFW animations banned by YouTube, which were taken down a while ago):
http://dimitrithelover.com/animation.html