This post is all about boys. If you find that boring or gross, click here.

I recently went on two dates with two different men.

I don’t date much–it’s pretty difficult to meet eligible, non-gay men in this city, let alone ones who are interested in potentially dating me (self-deprecation is sexy, right?). So the fact that I’ve had drinks with two different single, heterosexual, cool, interesting, bright, fun and attractive boys in the past month is pretty incredible to me.

Boy The First invited me for drinks at The Press Club. He’s an extremely tall, earnest, funny and vaguely geeky (but in a hot way) web designer and part-time laptop musician. Completely unprentious and amazingly likeable. We hit it off pretty well and awkward silences were minimal (although they did happen). The only roadblock I recall is when I was telling him about my allergies and mentioned cats. And then he told me he had a cat. And a little voice in my head went “FUCKING SHIT!” And I’m not sure if my face betrayed that thought. Also, we did not breach the touch barrier, which I knew was problematic. Boy The First and I chatted amicably for 2 hours and at the end of the date, he walked me to the streetcar stop. “See you soon,” he said. And ambled away.

See you soon! That’s promising, right? “See you soon” implies that not only would we hang out again, but it would happen soon.

Boy The First didn’t communicate for a few days. I got impatient and dropped him a line. I suggested sushi or something the following weekend but he mentioned that his December was all booked up. Right. The old “I’m busy” excuse. I’ve read “He’s Just Not That Into You”. I know the score. Predictably, December came and went and I didn’t hear a peep from him. And I still haven’t. And I don’t think I will.

Which was entirely fine, because in December I saw Boy The Second at the subway station closest to my house and suggested drinks if he also lived in the area. He didn’t live in the area but said we could do drinks anyway. Which we did.

A quick word about Boy The Second. I covered a reality television show in the summer and he was one of the contenders. I had a freaking massive crush on him. Phenomenal smile, beautiful voice, big blue puppy dog eyes, tall, appropriately shaggy, adorable dimples. Full-time musician. Totally my type. And so nice. The man basically radiates goodness and kindness and light.

So Boy The Second and I hung out at the Wheat Sheaf on Friday night and I think it may have been one of the better dates of my life. It just felt really comfortable and warm. We had a good connection. We looked cute together. He laughed at my jokes. I laughed at his. He is a great listener and so super badooper genuine and kind-hearted, I quite possibly can’t get over it and never will. We talked and laughed for 3 hours and by the end of it, I was sold. The night began and ended with hugs (initiated by him). “See you soon, I hope” he said. And ambled away.

The next day, Boy The Second contacted me to expand on an inside joke and to tell me that he had had fun. I wrote back and said that I had also had fun and to let me know when he was free to hang again.

That was four days ago.

I am still semi-optimistic that he’ll get in touch to ask for a second date, but every day, my hopes fade somewhat. How long do boys wait these days? Swingers was over a decade ago–have the rules since changed? What the hell? I can’t wait to see him again, how can he possibly wait this long to get in touch again?

And if he didn’t like me, then what is with this “See you soon” business? Can someone please tell me if this is a new thing? Mancode for “You’re a nice girl but I’m looking for a generic hot blonde with a great rack right now”. This would not make you an asshole. This would just make you brutally, refreshingly honest.

Listen up, boys: if you are not into the girl who you just spent hours with, please do not promote false hope with “See you soon”. Just say “Later!” or “Sayonara!” or “Take care!” or “It was good seeing you!” or the ever-popular “Bye!” All of those work fine and do not in any way imply future hangouts.

This has been a public service announcement. Thank you.